Archive | June, 2013

You Are …

15 Jun

It’s been awhile ..
A lot of solitude
A lot of trying to convince myself I’m incapable of giving a f*** about you

Holding my hands
Calling me “pretty”
Licking your lips
Charming and witty

Don’t you get it?
Leave me alone.
I’ll never ever admit it
I’ll convert my emotions into opposites
Then exude them amidst the confusion
Then watch you chase the lies
like little black butterflies
While I sneak away with what’s mine

I hope I have a nightmare tonight
A vivid reminder of the chaotic story behind the bruised face of the girl I euthanized sometime ago
I need to refresh my fears

What is it about you?
You sneaky bastard
You closeted hopeless romantic
Secretly trying to hack into my mind
Break down my defenses
Enrapture my soul
And whisper words of freedom
to all the doubts inside of me
that you are …yes, you are …

You are all I need to move on.

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No-Negativity Diet!

10 Jun

Time surely heals all wounds. My life was once at a state when I was completely dependent on that cliche. I had tried everything. All I had left was time.

And a drink every now and then …

People will always speculate and be judgmental about a situation they’re analyzing through rose colored glasses. Truth is, you’ll never know what a person is going through fully. We all conceal stuff. We’re all afraid of putting too much of the things we’re not proud of out there for the world to see.

I might not seem like the kind of girl who cares about what other people think. I definitely don’t care what insignificant people have to say. But I do care about what the people around me have to say. The people I love are the only ones who can really affect the way I see and do things.

Lights. Camera. Action.

The process of eliminating all vectors of negativity and carefully assessing all new interests before letting them into my life is a crucial milestone in my journey to evolve.

No! I’m not interested in those hype, social-climbing guys anymore.

Buh-bye you Air Jordan wearers who swear you can’t pay for dinner.

All friends that are bad influences and providers of harsh energy gots to go.

Yea, you’re light skinned, beautiful and in demand. Let’s see how long that’ll work for you. It was fun while it lasted.

Don’t think I can do it? Okay.

Go be a demotivator somewhere else.

I’ll never find someone else like you?

I hope you’re right.

It’s not as easy as I thought, it’s kinda like a new workout plan and diet.

Here’s to my no-negativity diet! 😉

à tout à l’heure.

Hey There!

7 Jun

Sigh. I’ve been putting off writing an awesome introduction to my shiny new blog that would instantly get me into the cool crowd and I’d supposedly fit in with the elites of the blogosphere!

Yup. I don’t think that is going to happen.

But here goes nothing

Hi, my name is Aza. I’m nothing but a Jamaican country girl with aspirations of making it big one day so I can be free, don’t expect anything more from me.

Okay. That first bit sucked …

Let me start over.

Hi, I’m Aza and I’m attempting to embark on a journey of self-improvement by initiating the relevant changes in my life as I’m crossing over into adulthood. The main purpose of this blog is to document my transformation from an introverted young girl into a self-reliant, confident, and robust young woman.

That’s it? Damn.

Oh well, not what I expected I’d come up with, brief but I think I made my point. I welcome you to follow my story and cheer for me as I overcome every single struggle to evolve.

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